Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Ango 2011 - Day 5

  • Morning zazen ~ 45 Min
    • Sat on G+ with Morelos, Roky & Chris
    • Used AT again and found that I need a lot of work and practice.  I keep slacking off and forgetting and then have to stop the bad habits again.
  • No problems with vegan diet today.  Bagels with hummous, vegan pizza and my wife (Angie) made mushroom & vegan chicken with rice for dinner.  Was great!  Pizza had vegan sausage on it which was just ok, but the rest was great as well!
  • Spent some time at a used bookstore with Angie.
    • She found several books but I struck out for the most part.
    • I did find one in the Taoism section called Aiden's Way.  Will be a while before I can really get to it, but looks interesting.
  • No shakuhachi. 
    • Instead I ran around town doing errands, and things for the kiddos.  Just ran out of time.
  • For samu, I "tried" to install a ceiling fan in my daughter's room.
    • It's hard to say that there was much meditation in my work while doing this.  In fact, I was so agitated by the end of it all that it made my sitting this evening very difficult.  
    • There were at least two opportunities where I should have put down the screwdriver and walked away, but I didn't.  
    • In the end, I did learn a valuable lesson.  It's very hard to see clearly when your mind is agitated.  I would also add, possibilities for success diminish greatly in such a state.  
  • Shobo Study
    • Still slowly proceeding through Power of the Robe fascicle.
    • Came across one of my favourite parts:
"It is called the clothing of emancipation, the robe of the field of benefaction, the robe beyond form, the unsurpassable robe, the robe of patience, the Tathagata's robe, the robe of great love and great compassion, the robe as a victorious banner, and the robe of unsuprassable, complete enlightenment."

  • Evening zazen ~ 25 Min
    • Sat on G+ but solo tonight.  
    • Just missed Pete and was a bit disappointed about that, have yet to sit with him.
    • AT tonight was horrible...or rather, I was horrible at AT...I'm sure the technique was just fine. 
    • I think I was so tense from the ceiling fan work.  Coupled with probably horrible AT posture while doing the installation, it probably just was too much for me so early in my training.
    • I will say however that I was inspired by my wife who sat with Kannon in our bedroom just before me.  Somehow I feel bolstered in my practice when I see her practicing.
  • Final Note.  Sometimes I feel I am an overly emotional person.  I'd like to chalk it up to having deep compassion, but I'm not so sure it's that simple. Today while driving, a funeral procession came by.  My wife and I pulled over, and turned on our lights. I bowed to the hearse and recited metta to the following cars, filled, no doubt, with saddened friends and family. By the end of the procession I was in tears and had no idea even who the person was.  Just feeling the suffering and sadness for the people passing moved me.  On the advent of the tenth anniversary of 9/11, there are many stories on NPR about survivors and families of victims.  Both my wife and I were in tears to the point of having to turn the radio off when hearing the story of some of the firefighters who didn't survive.   I'm not sure why my reactions are so strong when I hear/read/see someone in pain. This weekend will be a tough weekend and I imagine I'll have to stay away from the radio. Luckily I don't watch TV so at least that barrage of 9/11 coverage will be mitigated.  Will dedicate my practice this weekend to the friends and families of those impacted by that tragedy.

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