Znafud: Ango 2011

Love this time of the morning for sitting. So peaceful and quiet. I also love to have the sun cresting the horizon about half way through.
Only thing that could have made it better is if Morning by Grieg was being played on the shaku while I sat. :D
Sat publicly on G+ with Roky, Morelos & Kevin (the guy I mentioned in the previous post). Was really happy to see Kevin join...and of course the old regulars. :D

I'm not in great shape...but not in horrible shape either. I'm a typical 38 year old computer guy with three kids...so yeah, you do the math.
Was great to be outside as it's been over 100F for the past three months in Dallas. Dragging a Doodlebug behind my bike however brought me within an inch of my life. But still great to be outside in 80sF temps!

I always seem to have great insights while mowing the lawn. Poems spring up like daisys (or maybe weeds), worlds are transcended and all that...but not today!
Today was nice because the grass wasn't too high, but, in the practice of samu I could feel I was really into it. I thought about how I was happy to be so fortunate to have such a big yard...but after I was grumbling about so much grass. I was happy about the fact that I was using an electric mower, showing compassion for the environment. But only after I was reminiscing how I used to have the energy to use the pushmower that is now rusting in the garage. I was happy to think about how Tuesday was trash day and that the grass clippings wouldn't smell for very long in the garage, but only after I thought about them taking up landfill space and how I should've mulched it. So all in all it was a great mow. The practice of mindfulness helped me overcome a lot of little things that would have dragged me down had I 'watered' their negative seeds. So I count it a win!

Well, we had a tree die in our backyard after a bad hail storm in June. Only thing remaining is a 6" wide stump...and it's subsequent roots.
Being experienced in things household, I made sure I had the right tools.
I removed my juzu beads and placed them gently to the side and then proceeded to beat the crap out of that stump....all to no avail.
About 30 minutes in my back was aching. I was sweating like my buddy Chi when we used to take jiu jitsu (so, so gross) and I was completely beaten.
Cleaned up the tools and put them away for another day.
Lesson learned here was to stop my old behaviour of getting angrier and angrier until I blew up. I just realized that this practice was enough for the day and I moved on. After all, as an old wise man said to me (my dad), "It'll be there tomorrow".

Went to have lunch at an old regular and come to find out EVERYTHING HAS LACTOSE!!
Ended up getting chips, salsa & guacamole. Left the restaurant for the first time feeling good. Normally I am bloated and lethargic, seeking any sleeping apparatus like a zombie for a B movie.
+1 for veganism! :D

Once again worked on Choshi. This time however I just focused on trying to get the right tone for a single note...and hold it. Still sound like a warbler but at least I'm able to hit the note
Practice, need more of.

Was intrigued by the discussion on women in the practice. I like how Dogen was an EOE (Equal Opportunistic for Enlightenment)...though there is always somehow an underlying thread in Buddhism of sexism, it made me feel like Dogen was far ahead his time. Many bows to him.
Reminds me of the other book I am reading for a book club by Aoyama called Zen Seeds...she was an amazing woman and I'm so happy for her contribution.

Was mostly lost in this one. Very beautiful and poetic. I really liked the poem that Zhiqin gave to Guishan about the peach blossoms...struck a chord with me.

Liked this one because it falls inline with precept study for Jukai. Although the whole "refrain from" took me a couple readings to understand, there were a ton of jewels in this fascicle.

Good friends of ours Jukka & Sylvie, invited my family over for dinner.
They know of my "condition" (Zen + Vegetarianism) and are very accommodating and show a genuine interest...hard to find in the deep south, on both accounts.
Angie & I made couscous with veggies and Sylvie had bought some veggie burgers for the wife & I. When we arrived, Jukka offered me a beer...standard practice for our meetings. However with my Ango commitments I had to forego. Wasn't super hard to be honest, but in some ways the social aspect of having a beer with my buddy was a bummer. Jukka and I went to go cook the food (burgers for them, veg-burgers for us). I read the packaging (standard procedure for veg-heads) and noticed it has mozzarella cheese in it. Rubber hits the road. After about 10 seconds of contemplation, I decided I would eat the burgers anyway. My logic is that these fine people are going out of their way to accommodate my vegetarian diet. In fact, Sylvie actually even ate the veggie burgers with us. My conscience and etiquette out weighed my choice to abstain for cheese and I feel good about it. Had I made a stink or worse, lied about not wanting the burgers, I'd be an idiot. They are our close friends and took great lengths to be kind...I could not trample on that. The burgers were great and the onions (which Jukka did in grapeseed oil so I didn't have to have butter) were perfect addition. Wonderful evening and wonderful friends....we are truly lucky.

I was exhausted after arriving home. It had been a looong day and very full and I really wanted to crash. It was only 10:30ish but when you get up at 5:30 every morning it just kicks your butt. However, I really wanted to sit.
After I put my daughter into bed (already long gone asleep) I rushed downstairs and got to it.
25 Min zazen with the usual liturgy and I was diving into bed.

Surprisingly I wasn't sleepy...though I always find that my mind has a tough time settling after a full day...maybe I should switch my duration to longer nights & shorter mornings...
No G+ tonight...just old fashioned sitting.

Monday, September 5, 2011